Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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