THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
