Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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