He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?