i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.