You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
do herpes really smell.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize