Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
