you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
