I hate your face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
zippers are such a cool invention
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
