Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
