She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize