Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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