i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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