just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
