when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize