The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
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who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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