I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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