girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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