White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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