dude i'm inner monologue high
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
