like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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