look no pants
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
