I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
