Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize