Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
