I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize