i don't like sucking hair
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
