so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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