I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize