i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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