It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
