nut hugger
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize