we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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