We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
