Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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