yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
