You work out of a Hotel?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
