I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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