I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
