So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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