she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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