you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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