What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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