My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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