I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
