Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
