Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
