I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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