And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
