Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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