yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
