can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
