In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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