Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
