So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
