So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
